Men....

Recently I went through a divorce that has left me doing a lot of thinking about the dynamics between men and women. Don't worry....not going to get personal. Just my opinions and how I have come to view men as a whole. You don't have to agree...it's just MY opinion.

For so long men have said women are complicated.....they are right. Women say we are  the better communicator. Hmmmm...that may not be so. I will get back to that later.

Men....not so complicated! Now I am talking about the average Joe. The one who is working his job, loving his family and doing the best he can to live a decent life. I am not talking about those who lie, cheat, abuse, or have addiction problems. Those are complicated and serious character flaws that need to be dealt with in a manner in which you see fit. As I said I am talking about Joe Schmoe!

He doesn't ask for much. He works hard to support his family. He wants to watch or participate in a few selected sport options in his free time and you can usually make him smile from ear to ear and have his undying love with a medium rare steak or a fat sub sandwich and a cold drink.

He will usually do anything you ask...IF YOU ASK!!!! This is where I want to talk about women being the better communicator....NOT! Ladies.....they really do want to make us happy. But they are not mind readers. They are factual, we are emotional. We need to stop making them guess and then get pissed when they get it wrong. And turning on the water works is cheating!! I know we girls sometimes just can't help it.....it is a part of our make up. But when you do it to take advantage it is playing dirty. To make someone feel guilty to get what you want is not nice.

Now....that being said.....will he over night start picking up his socks or throw his coke can in the trash when he is done...maybe...maybe not. BUT...if you communicate...YES...TALK to him and let him know that there are some things that are very important to you. I bet he will listen. So...you throw away his coke can and pick up his socks. He fills up your tank on a cold winters night so you don't have to do it the next morning, he eats his toast dry because he knows you love yours dripping in butter and you are almost out of butter. It all evens out. Isn't it supposed to be give and take and helping each other. Sharing the good times, the bad times, the burdens etc....

Will you get frustrated with him at times and want more from him than you feel you are getting? Yep...and he will feel the same at times. Someone told me one time that each day they get up and  put their spouse first. They take time each day to do something to make her smile, to make her laugh and feel loved. And because their heart is in service mode all day long they are never left feeling unloved or cheated. Because he said when she is happy and smiling so is he!

So men....speak softly, and do the little things.....
And Ladies.....speak up, and that doesn't mean yell. Just telling him what you need so he doesn't have to guess.

THEN...and ONLY THEN....can you hit him with a frying pan if he doesn't listen ;)

Roller Coasters and Empty Seats

I don't like roller coasters of any kind. The ones that you find at amusement parks and especially the emotional ones.

This month I am for sure riding the emotional one.

Watching my youngest daughter (my middle child)  graduate from the police academy as a corrections officer. Wow...Sooooooooo proud of her. She is not a little girl anymore.  She worked so hard to accomplish her goal and she did it. What a high....but the low was the empty seat her daddy should have been sitting in. Though I am sure if there was a way for our angel to stop what he was doing and watch from above....he did. First and foremost he loved his kids and was an incredible father. But her 6'4 baby brother was there with me and that sure helped.

 

Speaking of my baby boy, he just got a promotion to manager at the Pizza place where he works. And will soon be working 2 jobs to save up for a car and is looking forward to the changes ahead in his life. I am very proud of him, and know his daddy is too. The low was again....no one to share that with.....the seat was empty.


Cody and I have been living with my oldest daughter Nicole and her family for the last 6 months. It has been such a joy to see her grow as a mom and wife. And to get to spend so much fun quality time with my granddaughter Paige. Her laughter can chase away all my blues. Sure wish her grandpa was here to see just how much she is like him. She definitely has his sense of humor.

 

Cody and I are making arrangements to move. It is a high to move forward, but the low is the reality I had to face about my marriage. It just couldn't be saved and so many hearts were hurt by it.

As my heart grieves for two different men and two different kinds of love and relationships, I know that even though the ride has been sooooo bumpy at times. And I wanted to (and probably did) scream to LET ME OFF....I am still here. Still putting one foot in front of the other. Still doing my best to carry on and move forward with some kind of life that brings me joy. Still making mistakes....but learning from them a little faster these days. Not taking love, family or friendship for granted in any way. Still thankful for my blessing even the ones that I don't always see and others have to point out to me. Still plugging along. I might not always have a song in my heart....heck we all have bad days. But I do try to at least hum once a day...LOL

I am human...I struggle, I have bad days, and mad days and some really sad days. But I also have good days and even some great days. I have the best kids, the best family, the best friends, and a relationship with God and Jesus Christ. The rest is just stuff!

 So as I get ready to take the next step in this journey I will pray for the strength to get through the gray days and to be humble enough to thank my Heavenly Father for ALL of my days. Eternally grateful for my children and grandchildren. For the many true, loving and lasting relationships/friendships I have in my life. For the lessons I have learned riding that oh so scary roller coaster of life. So for now the seat beside me remains empty. And I am pretty sure it will remain that way. Life is a bit easier with a co-polite but I have hit the runway alone before and I can do it again.

Got to go now and buckle in for the next ride.....bumpy or not I will hang on and see where the tracks take me.