Men....

Recently I went through a divorce that has left me doing a lot of thinking about the dynamics between men and women. Don't worry....not going to get personal. Just my opinions and how I have come to view men as a whole. You don't have to agree...it's just MY opinion.

For so long men have said women are complicated.....they are right. Women say we are  the better communicator. Hmmmm...that may not be so. I will get back to that later.

Men....not so complicated! Now I am talking about the average Joe. The one who is working his job, loving his family and doing the best he can to live a decent life. I am not talking about those who lie, cheat, abuse, or have addiction problems. Those are complicated and serious character flaws that need to be dealt with in a manner in which you see fit. As I said I am talking about Joe Schmoe!

He doesn't ask for much. He works hard to support his family. He wants to watch or participate in a few selected sport options in his free time and you can usually make him smile from ear to ear and have his undying love with a medium rare steak or a fat sub sandwich and a cold drink.

He will usually do anything you ask...IF YOU ASK!!!! This is where I want to talk about women being the better communicator....NOT! Ladies.....they really do want to make us happy. But they are not mind readers. They are factual, we are emotional. We need to stop making them guess and then get pissed when they get it wrong. And turning on the water works is cheating!! I know we girls sometimes just can't help it.....it is a part of our make up. But when you do it to take advantage it is playing dirty. To make someone feel guilty to get what you want is not nice.

Now....that being said.....will he over night start picking up his socks or throw his coke can in the trash when he is done...maybe...maybe not. BUT...if you communicate...YES...TALK to him and let him know that there are some things that are very important to you. I bet he will listen. So...you throw away his coke can and pick up his socks. He fills up your tank on a cold winters night so you don't have to do it the next morning, he eats his toast dry because he knows you love yours dripping in butter and you are almost out of butter. It all evens out. Isn't it supposed to be give and take and helping each other. Sharing the good times, the bad times, the burdens etc....

Will you get frustrated with him at times and want more from him than you feel you are getting? Yep...and he will feel the same at times. Someone told me one time that each day they get up and  put their spouse first. They take time each day to do something to make her smile, to make her laugh and feel loved. And because their heart is in service mode all day long they are never left feeling unloved or cheated. Because he said when she is happy and smiling so is he!

So men....speak softly, and do the little things.....
And Ladies.....speak up, and that doesn't mean yell. Just telling him what you need so he doesn't have to guess.

THEN...and ONLY THEN....can you hit him with a frying pan if he doesn't listen ;)